Thought Process: Ecclesiastes

   Have any of you ever read Ecclesiastes all the way through? Have you ever just sat down and read it, studied every word and verse and really thought about it?
   That's what I did today. Well, technically yesterday, since I'm writing this the day before.
   I've loved Ecclesiastes for a long time. I've been re-reading it recently, a chapter every once in awhile when I felt like I needed it. But yesterday I really needed it, and I started from the beginning and read all the way through in one day. Which was definitely one of the better choices I've made in my life.
   One thing I've recently learned and am awed by is that, apparently, some "scholars" think that the book comes across as cynical, as if the writer had lost his faith in God. Which I personally think is one of the biggest hunks of garbage I've ever heard of.
   Lemme tell you why.
   I used to love Ecclesiastes, even before I was saved. Because even then, when I was so young, I wondered why we were here and if it was all just some big, stupid game. And Ecclesiastes showed me that there was more than that.
   And now that I'm reading it again, knowing more about myself and who I am and still having those same old thoughts among many others... I almost couldn't believe what I was reading.
   These aren't the words of a cynic. They're the words of a man who is pouring out his darkest fears on paper, his harshest realizations. He also wonders why we're here, he wonders why we spend all of our time on these things that won't even mean anything later on. He wonders the same things I wonder, the things other people wonder as well.
   And he gives a solution that every single person in this world who is struggling with depression, the meaning of life, their own thoughts and insecurities, just every person in general needs. We're here to live our life to the fullest, to seek out a higher wisdom, and to love and fear God with all of our hearts. This is what our purpose is. This is how we will impact people. This is how we will be remembered.
   This is one of the two main reasons I love Ecclesiastes. The other one is this.
   I often feel like no one understands me. That if I were to actually open up my heart and mind, that people would just look at with confusion, call me crazy, tell me to stop. I feel like I'm the only one who thinks this way. That's why whenever I find someone or the product of someone else that thinks like this, I cling onto it tightly and with such passion. It's because I've found someone who actually understands me, who I can actually relate with on a non-empathetic level. That's something very, very special to me.
   And that's why I love Ecclesiastes. Not only is it something I can relate to in that same way, but it's something that God himself put into the Bible. Of course I know that God knows me better than anyone else ever could. But the fact that he put something that I could relate to on such a personal level, in a world where I often feel like a freak for thinking the way I do, touches me in a way I can't really explain. He's showing me and people like me, the thinkers, the feelers, that it's okay to think this way. He's showing us an answer to our questions. He's telling us to live well and to fear Him.
   Because that's what life's all about. It's all about living and fearing God, and helping as any people toward this path as we can.
   And the fact that God himself knows how I think, that He knows how confusing and hard it is, that He knows that I feel like I am completely alone sometimes. The fact that He knows all of this and He put this book specifically in the Bible for a reason so that people like me would come along and read it and know that they're not alone...
   That makes it so much easier for me to accept and love myself, to step forward with hope for a brighter day in my heart, and to know that with God, I am never, ever alone.
   So reader. Thinker. Feeler. Dreamer. I challenge you this week to sit down and read straight through Ecclesiastes. I don't care if you're a Christian or not. I challenge you to go and do it. And I promise you that it will make you feel a lot less alone if you do.

MR