There are things that a person keeps to themselves. Some parts of them that are so deeply ingrained into them, some parts that define who they are, some parts that are so deeply personal. Parts that hurt, parts that are dark, parts that reveal too much of themselves. Parts that you feel like you can't share with another soul because then they would know every piece of you, what makes you you. Parts that you don't even fully understand yourself.
But sometimes, you have to do something with these pieces. And since you can't share them, you write them down, You journal, you keep a diary, whatever you want to call it. It feels good to get them out there, to get them off of you and onto something else. You've shared them without actually sharing them.
That's the part that's so funny to me. We can't share these pieces, because then someone would know us, who we actually are beneath whatever it is we present to people. Instead of sharing them with someone we trust, we put them in a place where anyone could pick it up and read it. Why is the latter okay, and not the former?
Maybe that's it, though. Maybe there's something more okay with someone knowing, then having to explain it to someone. But maybe you just need to put the pieces somewhere, and the best you can do is write it down and hope that no one finds it. Maybe. I don't know.
I just think it's funny.
This is short, and dramatic, and a little strange, but it's been on my mind. Sorry if it's confusing.
MR
It's not confusing at all. I know exactly what you're talking about! It's a huge burden keeping those secrets, especially from people that we love and trust. I never realized how heavy it was until recently. God moved me to share some things I'd kept hidden for a long time, and it was incredibly emotional letting it out and letting go. But it was worth it. I'm freer now than I was before, and it feels good. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you! Oh, I'm glad, Emmarayn! It does feel good to get things out. :)
Delete